March 30, 2017 Caregiving and Grief News Roundup

In this Caregiving and Grief News Roundup, we share several touching personal stories we came across in the news recently that resonated with us, as well as a few positive stories from around the country.

First, this beautiful story in the Washington Post emphasizes the importance of simply being there with a loved one at the end of their life. We found ourselves nodding and tearing up reading, as Jennifer Palmieri writes: “Of all the moments in my life I had with my big sister, the ones with the most value, the most intimacy, the most joy, were the ones I spent simply holding her hand in her hospice room. No distractions, no expectations or pressures, a time to simply be present, to simply be sisters.”

This real and emotional story describes a cancer patient being disappointed in how she was treated as a person in the hospital. Sue Robbins makes what seems like a reasonable request: “Please treat me as well as you are treating my tumour."

Check out this short video from PBS News Hour's "Brief But Spectacular" series with one our favorites, Kelly Corrigan, best selling author and podcast host. She briefly talks of her own experience with breast cancer and learning that her dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. We relate to her stating that she put her energy into writing.

Of course, one may expect to become a caregiver later in life, perhaps for elderly parents, but when caregiving comes in your 30s and 40s, it is unexpected and stressful. This NY Times article describes experiences from different “off time” caregivers who face the difficulties of juggling careers, child-rearing, and missing out on fun activities.

Daughters Unite shares the story of a “Millennial Caregiver”, Feylyn Lewis. They are a unique population in need of more awareness and support as their caregiving responsibilities affect their ability to attend college, become employed, and engage in peer relationships.

In a few other uplifting news stories from around the country:

  • In Ohio last week, the state legislature passed the Ohio Caregiving Act, which ensures hospital patients' designated family caregivers are offered instruction in providing needed care at home.
  • From Indianapolis comes a new app, Patch Health, designed to help multiple caregivers for a loved one coordinate care. Brilliant!
  • Earlier this month in Seattle, radio station KEXP teamed up with the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance Proton Therapy Center to present “Music Heals,” a day long program of stories and music with the power to lift our spirits and heal our souls in the face of cancer. We love this concept! We've featured music on our Resources page and stories from guests about the power of music to heal and a survivor’s playlist.

The Story of the Past Year

‘Tis the season once again - time to celebrate our Irish heritage! We are reminded of our St. Patrick’s Day post last year, when we launched this website. We shared one of our favorite quotes:

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal;

Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

- Irish Blessing

We are proud to announce that we are celebrating our 1 year anniversary of this website and blog! Although it has been a time consuming and sometimes difficult road, it has been incredibly rewarding. We are impressed with the real writers of the world who do this regularly and our respect for them has only grown. Just when we had moments of thinking that we couldn’t keep this up, a great idea would strike us in the middle of the night and we felt inspired again. We thank you for the support and as always, we thank our role model and big sister, Colleen, for constantly motivating us to work harder and to make an impact on the world just as she did.

Below is a recap of the year in images and quotes.

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"Our goal is vast - to help not just other young adult and sibling caregivers and grievers, but also to reach their family members, friends, and colleagues, as well as health care professionals, in order to increase awareness and understanding of their needs. We can all improve upon our ability and capacity to discuss death and dying, to prepare ourselves and others for it, and to support those that are going through it. Even though these are big goals and big topics, we think Colleen would agree that we should try to tackle them." - Our Motivation Behind Losing a Puzzle Piece
"In many ways, losing our sister helped us find more meaning in family and appreciating life - and isn’t that a big part of the holiday spirit?" - Simplify and Downsize: Surviving the Holidays Without the Same Cheer
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"#stoptalkingaboutyoursickcat #doyouwanttoaskaboutme #publiccryingismythingnow" - Sister Humor About Our Grief
Photo credit: Melissa Kroll Photography www.melissakrollphotography.com

Photo credit: Melissa Kroll Photography www.melissakrollphotography.com

"After Colleen died our house was transformed by what seemed to be a million bouquets, orchids and ferns, a rose bush and a new tree in the backyard: a physical manifestation of Colleen's reach. The places where we dwell define our dealings with death, almost as much as our intangible memories and feelings."- Maggie Gets It: A Place Like Home

We have learned a great deal, not just by examining our own feelings and searching for insight, but also from our fabulous guest bloggers. We heard a mother’s perspective on sibling caregivers, a patient talk about grief and how acceptance is the hardest stage, and various views on sibling loss from a Marine's family dealing with his sudden death and how music heals, from a sister accepting and reflecting on the whole sibling relationship, from a group of siblings who supported each other through loss, from a sibling dealing with an unexpected loss and realizing life will never be the same, and the lessons a sibling learned through death. We received advice on how to talk to children about serious illness, how to keep going through grief, how Colleen was essential in her friend’s life, and other topics such as ambiguous loss, survivorship, and architecture's role in caring for cancer patients. We are so grateful for their wisdom.

Check out some highlights of these guest posts through their beautiful images: (Click on the image to link back to the blog post.)

"[Colleen's sisters] were there no matter what. They knew her better than anyone. With them, she didn't have to put on a show. If she wasn't feeling good or didn't feel like talking, or even felt crabby, she could let her true feelings come out. This is what siblings provide in Caregiving." - A Mother's View of Sibling Caregivers

It has been quite a journey and we can't thank you enough for your support. What we have gained from this website and the many touching stories is difficult to put into words. Every day we are reminded of Colleen and the pain of having to go on with life without her does not go away, but this website has given us purpose and for that, we are thankful.