We recently read several interesting articles and research about caregiving. For any of our young adult readers who are actively involved in a caregiving role right now, we are cheering you on and personally understand how tough of a job you have. You are among an estimated 19 million young adult caregivers as of 2015 and have been identified as an under-served population, as we’ve reported before. Sometimes our stressful period of caregiving seems long ago, but we can be taken right back to that moment by reading about others’ experiences. And we are fortunate to even have the chance now to read and reflect, considering all of the young adults out there who are caring every day for a loved one - no time for reading, at least not anything longer than a pamphlet, no breaks, lots of To Do lists, sleepless nights. Hopefully with good friends, great snacks, plenty of cheese, and funny entertainment to accompany you. Click here if you need ideas for a good laugh.
When reading this article, we almost didn't even flinch: “New research from Transamerica Institute finds caregivers risking their health and finances to care for loved ones” was the tag line. We've heard that before and we know it is true. But wait, this should be shocking, right? Why isn’t this in the headline news?
Perhaps our experience has made us numb to these reports or immune to shock from these statistics, because we have experienced many of the negative effects that are discussed - not being fully prepared for our duties, taking time away from work, putting our own health aside. We’ve read about similar numbers and problems before. But when we put real faces to these issues, and think of young adult siblings, in particular, going through these struggles, we want more solutions. At the very least we want to send them a care package with triple creme cheese or our favorite humidifiers via Amazon Prime, and stealthily drop a basket of beer and brownies on their door step.
Are we becoming blase to this problem? If we just keep talking about the issues, it will become better, right? Facts like only half of caregivers felt properly trained to administer certain medications or perform nursing duties keep happening. We must do this better.
The amazing Feylyn Lewis, PhD researcher on young adult caregivers and guest blogger, shared this research with us several months ago and it spoke to us. It makes the point that research doesn’t usually share or seek out the negative consequences. Yes, so true! We can’t always paint a rosy picture of caregiving. There are harsh realities, stress, and much hardship involved. This research reports the perceptions of children and young adults on their experiences of having a parent with dementia. The truth came out, in sometimes surprising and sad ways, but we give them tremendous credit for sharing their reality. Only through honesty can we understand better what it is like to be a caregiver, and it may be therapeutic for others if they share feelings in common with the research subjects. They discuss “taboo subjects” or those that aren’t considered socially acceptable, such as “I don’t like my ill parent”, the sense of “waiting for death” over an unknown amount of time, and the distressing behaviors of dementia. The researchers were criticized for their focus on the negative but, unfortunately, the experiences of the subjects were not positive. The researchers explained: “their stories of the impact of dementia on their lives have been negative. We consider not acknowledging these experiences would be unethical.”
We are very curious to hear about your experiences. What is the hardest toll for you, your family, or your career that caregiving has caused you to pay? Do the reports and statistics paint an accurate picture - too optimistic? Too bleak?