Sister Humor about our Grief

     When our sister's death came, we had to face a new reality- one that was without Colleen, without caring for her, without trying to help her. We had spent so much of our time and energy focused on her living that it was nearly impossible to change gears and return to a normal life.

    We were forced to leave our parent’s house where we stayed throughout her home care, death, and funeral, and return to our careers, our families, our daily life. We tried to put our lives back together. We simply did not want to do it some days. Most days.

     None of our friends had just planned a funeral for their 39 year old sister. Our “sympathy period” seemed to end too quickly and not many people inquired about our well being or how well we were coping. We were expected to be normal, functioning humans. We felt far from that. It felt like we were constantly listening to selfish people ramble on about their lives, their ambitions, their plans, and their sick cats. We felt disconnected and used our humor to make life more tolerable. If anything, we could use their stories about their sick pets and their remodeling as source material to give us a good laugh. We would email each other the stories that we heard, the awkward comments that people would make, or the daily suffering that we were encountering. And through these stories came our healing.

     If we had a live tweet of our inner feelings, it may say things like…..

#stoptalkingaboutyoursickcat

#doyouwanttoaskaboutme

#whyarewestilltalking

#idontlikethewordscomingoutofyourmouth

#pleasesayless

#yourmothersunclescousinhadcancertoo

#youknowmysisterjustdiedright

#whyareyousmilingsomuch

#idontwanttogotowork

#idontwanttogetoutofbed

#badday

#needmorecheetos

#iprayforsleep

#cantstopcrying

#publiccryingismythingnow

#ilovecryinginmycar

#icriedwhileworkingout

#justdealwithmyexhaustedface

#thishugistoolong

#pleasebesensitivetousgrievers

#griefislegit